As a bi person, we are constantly facing prejudice from all corners of society, the discrimination is never ending.
I was reminded of this again recently scrolling through my social media feed, when I came across a heavy biphobic reel discussing male bisexuals.
Basically, we aren’t real, and it is a layover to gay town, where we would eventually end up, which is complete rubbish.
Considering it being Bi Visibility Month, I thought I would share some reminders of exactly what bisexuality is and the facts around being bi+.
It’s not a phase
Pretty simple, right? Apparently not.
The podcast which inspired this piece of writing couldn’t have been further from the truth about this if they tried, the discourse around bisexuality being a phase only hurts the community.
It keeps bi+ people closeted and contributes to greater mental and physical health issues compared to other sexualities, and the stats on this don’t lie on this.
I am a happily married man to an opposite gender wife, and it’s still not a phase, despite what people of rubbish podcasts would like you to think.
We don’t need to pick a side
Much like the above, it’s somehow hard for people to grasp what being bi+ is, but it’s not that difficult.
Your sexuality isn’t based on the partner you are with, you don’t suddenly change from being bi+ depending on your relationship status.
If you are straight and have never had a partner before, does that mean you don’t have a sexuality?
No, you are still attracted to people no matter what your relationship status or history is, bi+ people are no different in this regard, and we don’t need to suddenly pick a side.
People constantly find other humans attractive; it doesn’t magically stop once you have a partner, this goes for all sexualities, and bi+ people are in that category too.
Attraction not action
One of the biggest biphobic and common misconceptions around bi+ people is our sexual history which gets put into question.
How bi+ you are isn’t determined by how many partners or experiences you have had with another gender, this is a common form of bierasure that we see every day as bi+ people.
And of course, you can be bi+ and also asexual, not everything has to equal sex, which seems to be a common heterosexual social construct.
You can still identify as being bi+ even if you haven’t had experience with opposite genders, or any genders at all, single people who haven’t had a sexual encounter still have a sexuality.
Remember it’s about attraction not action.
There is no privilege
Goes without saying really, especially when you consider the comments from the podcast, privilege for bi+ people just doesn’t exist.
This all comes from a heteronormative viewpoint, which is the catalyst for this common form of erasure and is quite harmful to the bi+ community.
Bi+ privilege is based on the assumption of our partner, how a relationship appears, even when someone’s partner could be a trans, or nonbinary person.
Bi+ people feel a lack of representation in all sections of community, straight or otherwise, and the term straight passing is often used from the basis of cis man or woman attraction.
There is no privilege in having your identity constantly erased.
You are queer enough
This is a big one, and it’s something that will keep bi+ people away from pride events, or any celebration of the LGBTIQ+ community.
It doesn’t matter who your partner is, how many opposite gender partners you have had, you are queer enough.
There is a B in LGBTIQ+ for a reason, bi+ people have been on the frontline of activism for a long time, it’s a space where everyone in the bi+ community should feel welcomed at.
And comments like the one from Your Moms House Podcast will only keep bi+ away from embracing who they really are.
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