For most of my life bisexuality has been the butt of all jokes, never taken seriously, never believed.
I know who I am, I know my sexuality, but it doesn’t alleviate the mental pain you can feel when anxiety and rejection take over your mind. These feelings are all part of my life, whether that is work, family or within friendship circles.
The amount of times I have overheard casual biphobia or homophobia is staggering, the worst of all is when it comes from your own family. Ones who know that you are openly bisexual, but continue to use words that are offensive and hurtful.
Before the world was turned upside down I was lucky enough to enjoy bisexual+ events in Melbourne. A picnic day at Treasury Gardens with my wife, family and other bisexual people was an amazing experience.
It’s here where I have felt most comfortable since coming out as bisexual publicly six years ago. No judgement, no weird looks, just acceptance and people who are the same as you.
When Bisexual Awareness Month comes around every September I get lost and caught up in everything that makes our community great. When bi+ people come out from the shadows of insecurity and shine bright with other bisexual icons.
The month is filled with colour, amazing solidarity, great stories and a time when bisexuals can come together as one big great community. The connection I find to myself throughout this time is where my mental health really improves, the thoughts of self doubt and anxiety are eased as I see myself reflected in things around me.
Facebook groups, Twitter users and Instagram creators are fantastic in helping each bi+ person fill the void that they might not find elsewhere. These platforms are great for my emotional wellbeing, getting to see yourself reflected in others and realising what you are feeling others feel also is uplifting.
I never seen this at a young age, growing up in a strong masculine environment and not being able to navigate my way through life. Finding where I stood on this earth, who I was and where I was going.
These months of celebration create that avenue I often lack.
My mental health is a constant battle, something I have been open about and accepted over the years. I can link it back to a time of living as a closeted teenage bisexual, being attracted to more than one gender and having to live a double life. Being caught was my worst fear.
With the world impacted by covid public gatherings have put a hold on bisexual themed days. Restrictions now being lifted in Victoria and travel across all regions allowed, I hope that these events can now be organised once again.
I love the LGBTQ+ community, I have friends within it and I am part of it. But the feeling of not being accepted because I am bisexual, and looked at as a fake queer often rush my mind. That is why the focus on bisexual+ people through the month of September every year is so important to me even if it is just online.
Continuing the journey of supporting my own mental health I hope to launch my own podcast in 2022. It will be LGBTQ+ focused around the local ice hockey scene, where great strides have been made in the search for equality. Through podcasting and sharing stories I hope it can help not only my own journey but those that I will be speaking too.
For now I look forward to every September, where the community I love so much plays it’s role in helping me navigate through those struggles and hurdles.
It’s part of the mental health jigsaw I continue to piece together.
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