30 days of being valid. 30 days of finding community. 30 days of being believed. That is what September can mean to bisexual people.
Bi Visibility Month is an annual celebration held throughout September, with Bi Visibility Day on the 23rd, a time when bisexual people can celebrate bi culture and what it means to be themselves.
It can be a challenging time for the bisexual community; we constantly battle to find space in all corners of life.
Erased from straight life as indecisive, and within the queer community often treated as imposters.
Visibility isn’t the same as acceptance
Despite TV shows and celebrities continuing to show visibility by being out as bisexual, the bi community faces significant challenges through mental and physical health disparities.
This is why acceptance through visibility isn’t automatic simply because we see bisexuality represented on TV.
Seeing bisexual people on TV and represented in the media does matter, but that alone won’t dismantle the biphobia, misconceptions and stereotypes that bisexual people face in everyday life.
At the heart of biphobia and one of the most persistent myths around bisexuality is that it’s just a phase – where it is either a stepping stone to being gay or lesbian, or something you grow out of. Then you have people assuming bisexuals are confused, greedy, unfaithful and unable to find one gender that they are satisfied with.
Because of these assumptions, the bisexual identity, which is complex and personal, gets reduced to harmful stereotypes.
Still bisexual
And bisexuality isn’t dependent on the partner you are dating.
If you are in a relationship with someone of the opposite gender. Still bisexual. Dating someone of the same gender. Still bisexual. Bisexual identity isn’t determined by relationship status, just as the gender of a bisexual’s partner doesn’t erase who they are.
A relationship changes how bisexual people are perceived around the world, but their sexuality doesn’t change. When with someone of a different gender they may be seen as straight, or gay when they are with someone of the same gender. These assumptions can often be harmful, but they shouldn’t determine who someone is on the inside. Their bisexual identity doesn’t shift, no matter who they choose to love.
This is why visibility matters.
Visibility beyond the screen
For a lot of bisexual people, especially those who are young or questioning, seeing someone who is out and confidently bisexual can be a life changing experience. There is reassurance in that, a feeling of connection and not being alone, knowing those feelings are real and valid with a community there for them.
However, we must see visibility beyond the silver screen. Schools, workplaces, families, healthcare systems and communities can play a vital role.
Creating spaces for bisexual people so that they don’t have to defend or hold back their identity, places they feel accepted.
There is no one way to be bi
There is no one way to be bi, you hear that a lot, which is why bisexual people must be recognised as an ever-evolving community.
Additionally, there are many experiences of bisexuality across genders, ages, cultures, races and backgrounds. People will find attraction at different times and in different ways. There is no defined way to be bisexual, it’s not a box to neatly fit into, and you don’t have to pass a test to belong.
For some bisexual people, attraction may feel fluid, while others it might be more consistent. Some might have only dated one gender throughout their life, while others have had different gendered relationships. These experiences don’t make anyone less bisexual.
History is not a requirement. You don’t have to prove your relationship background, and level of attraction doesn’t determine who is “bi enough”.
Being bisexual is about how someone feels within their own identity, proving your sexuality shouldn’t be something bisexual people have to do.
30 days, 365 days
It’s why when September rolls around each year we get 30 days to celebrate every unique corner of the community. Diversity that should be celebrated and seen for all 365 days of the year.
When we celebrate Bi Visibility Month it isn’t about showing how special we are or wanting to be treated differently. What the community is asking for is understanding and respect that everyone deserves.
It’s about having 30 days of being visible.
30 days of being validated.
30 days of having our voices heard.
And what September truly represents is that bisexual people have always been here – and that isn’t going to change.
